Sheafe,
You are correct. Both methods are really to get the dog bringing the object back to you and dropping it where you can get it easily. If you want her to drop it into your hand, you first have to teach her to drop it into your hand while she is near you. You might try giving her the object; then, while holding your hand under her chin, hold a treat she really likes right up to her nose. Then, as soon as she opens her mouth for the treat, say "Drop it!" and give her the treat while catching the object. Of course, she may be smart enough to get the treat without letting the object out of her mouth. . .
I appreciate your problems. My dog will be 7 in November. Her breeder gave her up after she could no longer have puppies. Zoey came from the middle of nowhere to suburbia. She knew no one; the smells were all wrong; she'd never seen stairs. When I found her lunging, in fear, at other dogs, I decided to let her chill out for a year, while learning this is her forever home. I do some training, but don't push too hard. She has to learn tough stuff like walking up open stairs (it took her several weeks to go up regular stairs). She lacks impulse control. When I first got her, she wouldn't eat anything -- now, if it is in my hand, it has to be edible, doesn't it? Fortunately, she does love all two-legged creatures. Anyway, I'd keep plugging away patiently with your Cairn. Some day, she is going to realize she is in dog heaven and give you back the love you miss.
Thank you for rescuing that dog.
kjd
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