Hi there, sounds like you will have to train your dog and your wife

It's very important that she follows the steps on how to become the Alpha Dog as well. Some people find it hard having to be consistent with their dogs, but it's important for your wife to know that your dog will be much happier if she has a stable pack order and she is at the bottom of the pack. That way she knows she is taken care of and she doesn't have to whine.
Your dog will need to do something in return for being praised. Even if it is just a "sit" or a "down".
Perhaps get your wife to read through the "Alpha Dog book".
Have you tried the pepper? Any updates?
John